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Over the last few months, I have been experiencing a strange curiosity for discomfort…

My life feels more abundant than it ever has in the past. I have more peace even amidst the chaos of working parenthood with a toddler and a pregnancy in the third trimester. I don’t feel burnout and my life feels pretty meaningful in many, many ways. I have never enjoyed my work as much as I do now and the balance of writing and product marketing feels really nourishing…

I recognize that this is a rare and incredible gift and well aware that things change and this will not last forever the way it is right now and yes, that is scary at many levels…

While, in some ways, I absolutely don’t want this comfort to change, I am curious about a different way of life. I don’t feel like running away from anything but somewhere I am drawn to something else and I don’t know what that is.

At so many levels, my life feels incredibly structured and full of homogeneity which has its joys and challenges. Yes, there absolutely are many, many moments of serendipity and creativity but somewhere I feel innately curious to explore more about a different way of life, to meet people who are drastically different than me and have a soulful conversation over the nuts and bolts of their life. I am feeling deeply drawn to traveling to a new place not to spend a week at a resort and click pretty pictures (which absolutely has its own charm) but I am feeling drawn to really immerse myself in a new country where the norms, beliefs and world-views are completely different from mine. Perhaps, spend 3 months in Iceland where parents let their kids go out and play on the streets and not worry about where their children are which is absolutely uncommon in the US and hence in my world.

In some ways, I am seeking discomfort that’s different from not getting a good night’s sleep or navigating a difficult relationship. Discomfort that comes from being more self-aware and more in touch with myself. Discomfort with feeling, seeing and experiencing a world that’s absolutely different from mine and understanding what that means to my long held views. Discomfort that comes from doing something that I haven’t done before, perhaps it means living in a RV or sleeping in a tent for weeks. It means discomfort of not having as much material comfort that I now always have access to. Discomfort of being away from my friends I love so dearly and get to spend time with often.

I am not sure where this curiosity will take me or what doors it will open or close but I feel deeply called to nurture these questions for now…

Today, it means going to a 4 hour meditation workshop and then next month for a day long meditation retreat. I am also dabbling with the idea of going on a group camping trip with my little monkey 6 weeks before my due date (I am not crazy, hospital is 15 mins away!!) And yes, I have a few months of maternity leave to look forward to that I am eagerly awaiting as I have a strong intuition it will be unexpected in ways I don’t know yet…

I’ll definitely need to thank Karan Bajaj and Brandon Pearce for helping inspire me to think this way and connect with this curiosity of mine. Highly recommend both their blogs & podcasts!! I am definitely addicted:-)

 

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