“How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. “ – Annie Dillard.
I was chatting with a friend and she casually mentioned – “I don’t even want to ask you about your routines these days, I know they must be so decadent.” And yes, the last few weeks have been very joyful and I hope I can savor and continue the essence of that joy in the months and years to come but I know there will be shifts. My days will have a lot more professional work starting next week – I start consulting with a tech start-up and hoping to turn up the dial within my own business. I am making updates to my website, learning (only the essentials!) around contracts, and invoicing among many other things!
I wanted to capture and celebrate the abundance of this season in its rawness and its detail before I transition to another phase and I am honored to invite you into my days.
One of the best parts was the slowness and space to include more humans, to be kinder to people. The other day I had emotional capacity (and also was around in the kitchen) when our yard person arrived and I could smile, speak with him and make him a cup of tea. When I’d see a neighbor, I wasn’t rushed and could pause and speak with them, ask them about their day, their kids and of course their dogs (if either of them was in the picture!). I was able to explore (and even filled out the form) for a volunteering project I had longed wanted to do.
It was fascinating to realize that I had never eaten this healthy ever in my life. I wasn’t on a strict diet per se but it was a lot of intentional eating and I sought very little comfort in food. When things felt rough, I had so many other ways to comfort myself vs. make that cup of hot chocolate. I still LOVE it though! I exercised 1-2 hours most days and I know this will be hard to sustain but I am still hoping to at least have an hour of solid movement every day. And then, there was a lot of meditation and rest. I am a HUGE fan of Yoga Nidra, it really works like magic in my body and I am so nourished and grounded after my practice. I hope to have these most days even if they are short bursts periodically.
I also prioritized my marriage in a deeper way. Yes, it is about making time but I felt more called to work through my own triggers and actively work on the choice of words when I am triggered, how we repair and start again, and what we were modeling to our kids. I was recently telling my coach if I could change one thing about myself as a wife, it would be how I talk when I am hurt and how much I don’t like how I show up in those moments. I am not perfect, far, far from it but in just even a month of conscious effort on this, I feel the difference.
And then there was more fun in small ways – weekend trips to Tahoe and some beautiful caves in our area. This afternoon, we have friends arriving for a sleepover and it reminds me of my childhood as I loved having friends over to stay overnight. I have memories of staying up way too late and I know that won’t happen tonight and I will be asleep (hopefully!) close to my regular bedtime! I tried out a new dance class I had been wanting to take and it didn’t disappoint.
There was also a lot more home organizing and decision-making. Not having my nice paycheck meant different choices and decisions and there were moments of grief and sadness around unfinished dreams and projects but I am trusting that things will still shape up beautifully even if different both literally and metaphorically.
And then the wonderful opportunity to reconnect with people – friends, family, old colleagues. It was beautiful to be reminded of what truly matters in life and how rich life is with wonderful humans in it. A big shout out to Calendly for making scheduling so much easier. There were afternoons when I’d go for a long walk for many hours and have humans brighten up my day.
And my absolute best part was enjoying parenting so much more. I have never felt this present, relaxed, and content as a mother. I made mistakes but had a greater capacity to forgive, apologize and repair and start again. There was literally more time spent with the kids but I didn’t feel as rushed, as stressed or time-starved. The day I found out work was shifting, Saveer was so thrilled and we went on a 2-hour bike ride in our neighborhood. #simplejoys. There will be another dedicated post on this as I’d really want to treasure my memories here.
And I’ll wrap this up with a full heart and a ton of gratitude to all the abundance around me, to the ability to pause and savor the precious moments of hearing the birds chirp, the beautiful sunsets in my neighborhood, the outdoor workouts in my patio, for extra snuggles and conversations with the kids at bedtime. I am incredibly grateful for all the love and support including from many of you in a relatively tender and raw season in my life.
I hope to keep writing, thank you for reading and being a part of our tribe here!
PIC: Vivaan and me on one of our snow trips!