A few days back I was sitting with my journal on my patio and a cup of my favorite sunshine tea writing about what is life inviting me toward and the words that came out were
Resting, being, abundance, savoring, contentment, courage, body wisdom
I felt both spacious and I noticed some resistance as well.
Every time I am able to be in this space of enoughness and abundance I notice a sense of joy that is incredibly deep and dare I say a bit unfamiliar from my regular programming. As much as I have wanted to be in this state of mind, I hadn’t designed my life and my career to creating contexts of staying in this space for long. And of course, I had the voice of fear always ready to push me to what’s next and do more. And yet, as I stay more curious about this part of myself, the part that I lovingly refer to as my inner leaders, I was receiving some beautiful messages from them –
“ It’s a season of savoring and honoring the goodness that is here right in front of you. This is the life and the career that you have so deeply longed for and let’s make sure we are pausing to fully feel the preciousness of it all. As you add, evaluate and plan ahead let’s also make enough room to honor the enoughness of what’s available to us.”
It’s again not very familiar and I notice some more resistance and I am learning to be with it all.
I am finding myself strengthening my relationship with the wisdom of my body and it’s fascinating that the more I am both nourishing and listening to her needs how much more alive and strong I feel to take on what life brings my way. And she almost always knows when I am swaying away from what this season wants from me and will strongly resist when I am doing too much or not creating space and room for replenishment.
And as I mentioned, there is resistance to this more grounded way of being, the voice of fear and my inner critic will often come in and remind me that I need to do more or that I am not doing it right or get nervous when I don’t have all teh answers or a definitive plan for what April of 2023 will look like. Here is what she can sound like
“Are you sure not going back to a full-time job is the right thing for you and your family? Wait – you only worked 5 hours yesterday, are you sure this will be enough to be okay in the world? I am not sure you can have a sustainable small business at this pace, you need to go faster, harder, and hustle more.”
And over the years, I have learned more tools and built more skills to harness the wisdom of my fear and my critic because yes I truly believe she is a part of me with a lot to offer but I can’t let this part of me be in charge of my life’s decisions. I have learned to simply listen, acknowledge and most importantly accept this part of me and gently talk to her as I would with my young children navigating fear and anxiety and I find that once she is heard and knows that my leaders are in charge she feels safer and she softens.
And here’s the most beautiful and fascinating part – when I am able to honor the wisdom of my body and the voice of my inner leaders, I am able to do what is needed in a much more sustainable and impactful way. Professional opportunities come my way and I can show up with more courage and add even greater value to my consulting and coaching work. I am able to ask the hard questions and make the right recommendations from a place of inner knowing.
It’s not that I am not aspiring to grow and contribute, it’s that I am aspiring to show up from a place of sufficiency vs. scarcity, and that mindset, energy, and embodiment have a powerful impact on the work and the people the work is meant to impact.
And it is not easy, it’s a daily practice of accepting the parts of me that experience fear, inviting and getting to know my leaders more deeply, and unlearning and re-learning what it means to be a human, a leader, and a successful woman in today’s world.
I am building a short group coaching experience where we will be exploring healthier ways of relating to our critic – getting to know and accept this part of ourselves while inviting our inner leaders to have a louder microphone to drive us toward what matters – at work, in our home and our communities. If you’d like to be on my list to co-create together and learn more when registration opens up, hit reply and I’d love to share more and learn more about you!