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I have been a mom for over 2 years and there are many beautiful gifts in my life that have made this journey a teeny bit easier but more importantly a lot more joyful, meaningful and fun:-) I am blessed to say that my husband is on top of that list and on this special day, this post is about him, and my gratitude to him. As I had mentioned in one of my earlier posts, it is much harder for me to write about the people closest in my life than it is to write about my own life and its challenges. However, to honor my commitment to my writing,  my relationship with my husband and in service to everyone reading this blog, I am going to muster up the courage to open up my heart a little bit deeper. Here are a few words in genuine appreciation of one of the many dads in the world, who is breaking the stereotype of parenting and empowering one woman in his life to be the best version of herself. It is also a way to remind myself of how blessed I am to have this in my life…

  • A True Partner – I feel incredibly blessed to have a husband who is truly a partner when it comes to parenting. He is not just an order taker waiting for me to take charge and give him instructions but someone who truly believes it is just as much his responsibility to raise our son. He gets the toddler ready every morning, makes a delicious breakfast and cooks lunch every morning and I never have to worry as I leave home at 7 am to get to work while they are both in bed. He can soothe (insert whatever else a child may need) Vivaan just as well as I can.
  • Meaning & Play in Parenting – This one inspires me too. I have rarely seen him do things only because “it is my responsibility” or “good parents do this.” Yes, I am sure these cultural messages and biological instincts have some role to play but what I found to be more dominant is how much he enjoys the little things with my son and how much meaning and joy that bring into his life and how beautifully that permeates into the whole fabric of our family. I will often get a text message in the morning telling me that they spent a few extra minutes before school completing an art project. Or I am cleaning up after dinner assuming the boys are changing into their pajamas only to find out they are in bed tickling, giggling and just breaking the bedtime rules a tiny bit to bring more play into their lives.

 

| As much as my ego and our social conditioning may want to tell me that I do things better, till date I haven’t seen evidence on why I as a mother am in any way superior to my husband in raising Vivaan. |

 

  • Respect for my Needs – Our hobbies, interests, careers, callings and aspirations can often be different but when I look back there is one word that comes to summarize it all – respect for who I am and what I need as a human being and a parent. Whether that means, happily watching Vivaan one evening so I can go take a yoga class or see a friend for dinner or step out for some exercise. It means being my biggest support when I frequently debate if I should complete grad school or not and then making sure Vivaan is completely his responsibility on days when I am at school.
  • Genuine Acceptance – Yes, we argue. Yes, we disagree. Sometimes, I cry and feel hurt, unloved and uncared for but those moments are rare and our conflicts can often be resolved with generous conversations and a desire to strengthen our relationship. But the beauty above all of this is I am loved for who I am and genuinely accepted with my flaws, imperfections and fears. Perhaps, I could say that I am loved because of them… And honestly, this is the best gift I get from my husband and are way more precious than what my ego can sometimes deem as more important (e.g. – special date night celebration). As I look back at some of my difficult moments, my postpartum anxiety, my multi-year dilemma over having kids, my struggle with not knowing what I’ll be when I grow up or how I can live with better alignment with my values, my husband has been my rock allowing me to be vulnerable and model for my child what it means to live a full, rich and abundant life…

As the saying goes, it truly takes a village to raise a child and I am going to add it takes a very  caring, supportive and respectful village to ensure that both parents get the time, space and nourishment to nurture themselves, their mind, body & souls so they can continue to thrive and find deep joy and meaning in one of the most challenging and rewarding work of our lives – parenting. I am grateful that I have my husband as part of that village…

 

A very happy father’s day to all the wonderful fathers who are playing their own unique, and authentic role in bringing up the next generation of contributing members in our society.

 

 

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